(A Marriage Based on Faith)

There are 2.4 million weddings a year in America. Most who say “ do” don’t intend to hurt their spouse, yet 33% of Christian marriages end in separation or divorce. How do so many marriages start with good intentions and en up in disillusionment? Quite often spouses focus in the performance of their mate rather then on God’s promises for their marriage.

Most of use are self-centered and come into marriage expecting our spouse to behave and meet our needs in a certain way. This leads us to focus on their performance. “I’ll be happy when my husband does this,” says the wife. “If only my wife would change that,” says the husband. Resentment and retaliation increase. This is a natural human response in relationships.

In a faith relationship, however, the focus is on God and His promises, not our mate’s performance. Christ modeled this for us: “To this you were called, because Christ suffered for you, leaving you an example, that you should follow in his steps. He committed no sin, and no deceit was found in his mouth, When they hurled their insults at him, he did not retaliate; when he suffered he made no threats, Instead, he entrusted himself to him who judges justly. “1 Peter 2:21-23

Christ did not deserve His suffering, but He did not retaliate against his tormentors, Instead He trusted himself to God and put His hope in Him. This is our model for Christian marriage. It is opposite of a natural human relationship in two ways: First, it is not natural at all – it is supernatural – and can be learned only from God through His word. Second, it is not focused on human performance but on God’s promises and faithfulness.

God is the guarantor of the faith relationship. He promises a blessing when we “live in harmony with one another…compassionate and humble” (1 Peter 3:8-9) As couples, we need to follow the example of Christ and move out marriages from performance to faith. We need to love and Christ loved, for that love is the door to the greatest blessing possible in marriage.