- 1 -
Developing Your Leadership DNA: Leading Well In Everything You Do
Brett Selby
Leadership Development Specialist
Baptist General Convention of Oklahoma
I
ˇm not a scientist. Biology almost ended my college career. However, I am familiar with
something called DNA, which basically is a genetic blueprint in each of us. Although I tend to
say that it stands for Do Not Ask, the truth is that every cell of our body contains our DNA code.
It pervades every aspect of our entire physical being.
Leadership is like DNA. It is in everything you do. The question is not if you are a leader.
You are. You exercise leadership in everything you do. The only question is how you are
leading.
Physical DNA is a matter of birth. Leadership DNA is a matter of choice. One comes by
nature, but the other by nurture.
Shakespeare wrote, ˝ Be not afraid of greatness: some are born great, some achieve
greatness, and others have greatness thrust upon them. ˛ (Twelfth Night, Act II, Scene 5) The
same is true of leadership. Some people have natural leadership gifts. Yet the rest of us can
develop our leadership, sometimes in response to circumstances (e.g. parenthood) that are
˝ thrust ˛ upon us.
Sometimes I wonder if we should just do away with the term ˝ leader ˛ altogether. It
seems to exclude and intimidate people. Much of the time it gets equated with an organizational
role, which many don ˇt have, instead of a life role, which everyone has.
Perhaps we should use instead ˝ influencer ˛ as the more accurate term. The study of
leadership is the study of influence. And every person has influence. You have influence. You
impact people around you. That much is certain. All that is to be determined is the nature and
quality of that impact.
- 2 -
Everyday, in more ways than you realize, you are a leader. You exercise influence.
Leadership is in everything you do. It may be positive or negative, but it is there. That ˇs your
leadership DNA.
Coaching Questions and Activities
(Use these in one-on-one mentoring and coaching settings)
1.
Which is a more positive term for you, influencer or leader? Tell me why that is.
2.
Place a piece of cord or string on the table. Try both pushing it and pulling it. Which
worked better? What does that tell you about leadership?
3.
A DNA molecule looks like a twisted ladder. If you were to draw your leadership
DNA, what would it look like?
4.
Leadership is a matter of choice, not birth. What choices do you need to make in
order to lead more effectively?
Ì Ì Ì Ì Ì Ì Ì
There is an old saying that says, ˝ Lead, follow, or get out of the way! ˛ This assumes that
a person can exert a neutral influence by simply ˝ getting out of the way. ˛ I disagree. Even the
act of neutrality sends a message. You cannot NOT lead. That statement may reflect poor
grammar, but it communicates a fundamental truth about leadership.
The only issue is the nature of my influence and my leadership, not its existence. I may
lead in a positive sense or I may exert a negative influence. Either way, I am a leader.
Which of the following are examples of leadership?
"
An assistant handling an irate person over the phone with patience and kindness
"
A businessman who stops to visit with a homeless person and take him to a café for a
meal and some conversation
- 3 -
"
A mother with a child at any time of day
"
A Marine sergeant who issues a command that puts his men in harm ˇs way in order to
complete their mission
"
A high school baseball coach who curses an official in the presence of his players
"
A government official who receives a bribe in exchange for awarding a contract
"
An elementary school teacher who helps their class learn to appreciate the beauty of
nature
"
A handicapped person who displays grace, joy, and courage in front of their family and
coworkers
"
A deacon who visits a church member in the hospital
"
A college student who helps an overburdened classmate with an important paper
"
An angry driver who makes an obscene gesture to another driver during rush hour
traffic
Actually they are all examples of leadership. As you can see, influence can be either
positive or negative. It can be one or the other, but it cannot be absent or neutral. In addition,
leadership can be obvious (a Marine sergeant issuing a command) or hidden (an official
receiving a bribe). It can be very specific (a coach who curses an umpire) or general (a
handicapped person living with courage).
However each of these examples comes down to one crucial decision. It is the decision
to either serve others or serve one ˇs self. How are you leading today? Who are you serving?
- 4 -
Coaching Questions and Activities
(Use these in one-on-one mentoring and coaching settings)
1.
What are some ways in you lead very specifically? How about in a more general
sense?
2.
There is a time to lead and there are also times to follow? When do they occur in your
life?
3.
Which of the examples listed above do you most closely resemble? To which ones do
you aspire?
4.
In terms of your leadership, what type of animal best depicts you? (e.g. an aggressive
leader might be compared to a bull, etc.)
5.
If God were to give you a leadership report card, what kind of a grade would you
receive?
Ì Ì Ì Ì Ì Ì Ì
Before you can lead others, you first must lead yourself. Socrates supposedly said, ˝ Let
he who would move the world first move himself. ˛
This doesn ˇt mean you have to talk to yourself or look in the mirror every morning to give
yourself a pep talk. It doesn ˇt mean ignore every other consideration and just do what pleases
you.
It means that you must choose what kind of leader you want to be. This is where you
begin developing your leadership DNA. Your response to these questions will determine what
type of leader you will become.
Whom will I serve, others or myself?
This is the most fundamental question about your
leadership. Many leaders, if not most, seek to gratify their own egos and pursue their own
- 5 -
personal agendas. Chuck Colson has said, ˝ All the kings and queens of this world have sent
their people out to die for them. Only One has ever died for His people. ˛
Whom will I seek to please, God or other people?
The approval of others is a drug to
which many people are addicted. Unfortunately, the nature of an addiction is an ever-increasing
desire for something that has an ever-decreasing capacity to satisfy. This is not true of God ˇs
approval. Knowing His smile on your life never loses its joy.
What will I live out, my calling or the calling others have for me?
Someone has observed
that at the moment of death for a codependent person, someone else ˇs life passes before their
eyes. God has a purpose for each of us. However, so do other people. Which purpose will I
embrace?
What will I focus on, the future or the present?
Good leaders see far ahead into the
future. They focus on what will be AFTER their season of leadership is over. As a parent, a
friend, and a minister of God, I must ask, ˝ How am I preparing those around me for the time
when they won ˇt be around me anymore? ˛
By the way, Jesus answered each of these leadership questions at the beginning of His
ministry. In His baptism, He sought God ˇs approval and received it. In His temptation in the
wilderness, He chose to serve others, pursue His own calling, and forgo immediate gratification
for future impact.
Are you ready to lead like Jesus?
Coaching Questions and Activities
(Use these in one-on-one mentoring and coaching settings)
1.
Imagine your life as a Broadway play. Who is on stage? Who is in the background,
behind the curtains? Who is in the audience?
- 6 -
2.
To what are you addicted? What must you absolutely have in order to live a
meaningful life?
3.
Remember the Four Spiritual Laws evangelistic tract? The First Spiritual Law was
˝ God loves you and has a wonderful plan for your life. ˛ Sometimes in the church we
change that to ˝ God loves you and WE have a wonderful plan for your life. ˛ Whose
plans are you living out right now?
4.
Think about the people closest to you. Will they hear your voice for the rest of their
lives or just the rest of yours? Will your influence outlive you?
To listen to a podcast on coaching, go to www.bgco.org/leadership
. It is titled ˝ August 07 LV
Podcast. ˛ If you need assistance, email Lori Warren at lwarren@bgco.org.
